Dealing With the Transition to College
Your kids have graduated from high school and are officially adults — at least in their eyes. That change alone could leave you feeling as on-edge and antsy as they do right now.
Even though your young adults have already been accepted to college, this summer break before they venture out on their own will present them — and you — with a laundry list of small and large hurdles to overcome.
As you and your college-bound kids face the challenges and the excitement of this summer of change, here are seven tips to help you both through this transition between high school and that first day of their new college lives.
The Summer of Transition: Carefree Doesn’t Mean Freedom from Caring
1. Be alert and aware.
With so much change and responsibility looming in front of your soon-to-be-on-their-own kids, tensions and emotions will be building all summer long until the very last goodbye. Expect tempers and tears, and don’t take it personally. This time can be tough on everyone.
2. Read.
Go over all the information your kids receive from their school. Help them make a file system, or use one you already have, and start putting together the information you’ll need to get ready for the big sendoff:
3. Resources are all around you — use them.
From the info sent by your kids’ school, to the advice of friends, family, and other parents on the block who’ve gone before you — these are all valuable resources that can offer you the benefit of learned experience. Make a point of compiling a list of those unpublished and overlooked “I-wish-I’d-known-that-then” college necessities. Go online and research if you need to — you’ll be amazed what you didn’t think of.
4. Discuss cell phone usage.
If you’re going to be picking up the cell phone tab, lay down the ground rules and make sure both you and your kids know what and how much your calling plan covers — go over minutes, text messaging, and Internet time. Check with your provider, and consider switching plans if your current plan doesn’t cover a new calling area for an out-of-state–bound freshman. When minutes are limited, encourage the use of e-mail and instant messaging whenever possible (it’s free, after all), even if your kids have to use the school’s computer lab to do it.
5. Discuss money.
Having an open dialogue with your college kids about finances is going to help both of you in the long run. Do you expect your kids to work part-time? take out student loans? Will you be helping out by applying for a parent loan? Draw up a list of what you’ll be paying for, remember to set limits, and make sure your kids are clear on which expenses they’ll have to cover on their own.
6. Take the time to meet the Resident Assistant.
If you’re dropping your kids off at the dorms, take the time to have a short discussion with the R.A. Most dorms and residence halls will offer time during orientation for you to tour the building and meet the R.A. The R.A. will usually be your main contact for anything housing- or living-related. But remember: While it’s an R.A.’s duty to look out for problems, he or she isn’t going to become a surrogate parent.
7. Help with the move-in, and leave tools.
On move-in day, take the last few hours you have with your kids before you cut them loose, and spend the time helping them with this enormous transition. They’ll appreciate it (even if they don’t say so), and your being there can help ease them through their first-day jitters in a nerve-wracking new place.
When it’s time for you to go, leave the tools behind. Hammers, nails, screws, screwdrivers, pliers, hooks, and so on, are incredibly valuable to a college student living in the dorms. And more than likely, with textbooks and other school expenses in their near future, your kids aren’t going to have any money to spend on this stuff later.
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